For my first discussion I thought to bring up a topic that bothers most girls and women through out the world and history, beauty. Beauty is definitely an important part of being a lolita. It has nothing to do with size, shape, or color. Beauty does not have to be tacked on, sewn in, or glued on. I see in various posts throughout the internet about different girls should not even try lolita because they don't have a beautiful face or have an ugly body. Everyone has heard the quote "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", well these are all just interjections of someone's opinion on others without the help this new lolita could possibly need to achieve enough charm to completely the outfit they are wearing.
···First rules of beauty in my book is that the person in question needs to know what characteristics they think are attractive.
-Some people think petite persons are the most graceful creatures on the earth while others think to be voluptuous is to be beautiful. Changing of time periods changes the way body types are portrayed. During certain era of the past, ie. 1600s, curvy bodies were the ideal shape for women. Then you have times such as the 1960s where exceptionally thin bodies were the ideal. This trend still happens today.
···A second rule is that you have to work at being beautiful.
Certainly there are those few individuals that wake up everyday and do not have to worry about washing their face. They have the body structure that works well with any outfit and they are as graceful as swans. The bad news is these people are very few. If you are basing beauty off certain models you have to remember they have personal trainers, makeup artists, hair dressers, and a whole crew of photoshop artists to enhance their beauty. The rest of the world has to work with just ourselves.
-Pick a hairstyle that fits your face! Different hairstyles work for different people. If you have concerns about the length of your face it might not be wise to wear updo hair styles. It's also been repeatedly stated that hime-style hair cuts should be avoided as well for these individuals.
-A shiny face is never considered beautiful. But a powder caked face is devastating unattractive. Try washing your face more frequently and using less makeup. I have coworkers and friends who bring a tiny face washing kit with them. They of course take longer in the bathroom! But they never worry themselves about shininess because they are prepared.
-Sleeping is important. Dark circles from lack of sleep are never pretty. Try to get enough sleep at night, or at least try to get a nap every once in awhile. Not only will you have a better attitude but you'll look much better.
-Weight can be an issue, of course. If you are a larger person you need to wear appropriate clothing. Nothing is most unattractive is a larger girls squeezed into a smaller outfit. Lolita Brands of course cause a problem. Brands such as Baby, Innocent World, and Metamorphose make jumperskirts, blouses, and skirt for larger sizes. If you still have troubles there are shops like Fan+Friends which can make custom sizes and commissioned outfits, utilize them.
···Third rule of beauty is to be yourself.
-Self confidence is the absolute key to being beautiful. No matter what fashion magazines say. No matter the shade of lip stick. No matter the skin type. If you cannot walk tall with your head raised and be proud of yourself you will not feel beautiful nor will you think highly of your beauty. Besides wearing lolita should boost your confidence anyway. If this is not the case, maybe this fashion is not for you...