Giving Up On Ordinary

Ordinary is boring, why not strive for extraordinary.


Once upon a time there was a little girl that was treated like a princess. She was told to embrace her dreams, expand her imagination, and live every day to the fullest. Everyday was dress-up games, make believe, and fairy tales. Growing up she was taught responsibilities and manners. She began to see how the world worked around her and tried to find a place where she would fit in. Her parents told her to always be true to herself and follow her dreams. Then she became an adult. Society told her to go to college, get a job, and give up on her childhood dreams. She did go to college and find a job. But give up on her dreams? No way!

I believed there is no reason the magic of childhood cannot continue into adulthood. Yes, adults have an immense amount of responsibilities. But once you have the time to enjoy yourself, the activities you love are even more fun. Why only let child have all the fun? As I grew up I was determined to never let go of my childhood dreams and ambitions. Never give up a dream because it is unattainable. Revise impossible dreams so they become possible to achieve. I never tell myself I cannot do something, because I am too old. Life is short and I intend to enjoy every moment of it.

Society might classify my views as escapism. Which to a point they are. I am unhappy with the ordinary societal lifestyle. So I chose to be a deviant and hold onto some of my childhood ambitious. I incorporate these hopes and dreams into my adult life. I might not ever become an actual princess, but I can dress and behave as one would. I might not ever get to live in a castle, but I can live in a large Victorian house and give it a name. I might not be able to own my own horse, but I can join an equestrian club.

There is no reason to turn into a pessimistic 'I hate my life' adult. I intend to march to the beat of my own drum throughout my life and enjoy every moment of it. Do you follow what makes you happy?


As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.
--Zachary Scott



image from: A szeretet az egyetlen

Public transportation

This post if for anyone, lolita or not. Public transportation is consistent and uncomfortable at time. But if we can work together and try our best to follow some general rules it could make public transportation slightly more tolerable.

Moving back to Maryland means experimenting with public transportation sometimes. Currently living an hour and a half from my work is not fun during rush hour traffic. Recently I been braving Baltimore's light rail and bus systems off and on. The light rail is a nice ride. It frequently seems to be on time and there is hardly anyone on the train until the route starts to enter the city. Every time I rode the light rail it has never gotten crowded. The bus however is 20 minutes late consistently and crowded. Few people on that bus have any etiquette. And I am not talking about Emily Post high society etiquette. Simple common sense or courtesy is all that is needed.

Public transportation tips:
Cover you mouth! If you have a cold, are allergic to something, or just feel that tickle in the back of your throat cover your mouth before you cough or sneeze. Passengers do not want to get sick or have your spittle in their face, neck or, on their person in general.

Bring tissues. If you are sick carry tissues. Do not wipe your runny nose with your hand. Certainly do not clean your nasty hand off on the railings or seats!

Nobody else wants to hear your rap music. I hate having to listen to other people's music. I do not understand why people that listen to rap music seem to have to play it as loud as possible. Please turn the volume on your music down.

Move! If you are blocking the way of other passengers trying to get on the bus please move. Either go to the back of the bus or move to the side so others can get on the bus.

Elders > youngsters Older citizens and people with disabilities should always get seats. If you are healthy and young or relatively young there is no reason you can not give up your seat.

Children > adults Small children and pregnant woman should also always be given seats.

Bubble space. Public transportation vehicles are small. There is no reason to have your legs so far open that the person next to you cannot sit on the seat. Also get a full night's sleep. Leaning on someone as you are falling asleep is very annoying.

I don't care about last night. Lower your voice when talking on the phone or to someone on the bus. I do not want to know about your relationship with Tony. Or any unsavory habits Mary has. Sit next to the person that you want to talk to so you do not have to shout your conversation.

Do I know you... I do not know why small spaces make people want to chat with you. Asking about the time, asking about what fragrance I use, or commenting on my outfit are fine. Telling me about your life story and how many children you have and how your job sinks is not good conversation.

Let me sign you up for parenting classes. All children need to be tamed. Children screaming, hopping seats, throwing objects, or kicking people is not acceptable. Unruly children make everyone's commute horrible.

Drop the drama at the door. The passengers on the bus do not need to be included in the fight between your boyfriend who is sitting two seats away from you. Riding the bus under the influence of anything that would make you obnoxious is also unwelcome. Keep those issues off the bus/subway/train.

Bodily functions are no one else's business. Loudly belching or farting are unpleasant in general public settings. They are unforgivable on public transportation systems.

It's okay to say you don't know. If someone asks if the vehicle will go to a specific destination it is okay to say you don't know. It is better to state your lack of knowledge of the area than lie and have the person miss their bus or get on the wrong bus.

Eyes to yourself. I am sure most of the world was told it is impolite to stare when they were a child. Nothing is more uncomfortable than someone staring. Bring a book, newspaper, magazine, or game to occupy your eyes while on the bus/subway/train. Otherwise look out the window or at the structure of the vehicle.

Hopefully I can one day find a house closer to work and then I will not have to deal with rush hour traffic or public transportation. Until then I have to bite my tongue and deal with the general public.

image from: TresSugar

Accessory detox

Those that know me know that I rarely care for the accessory monsters that deco lolita has created. I have never been one for the brand plastic bow jewelry either. I find that simple decorations are more aesthetically pleasing than overly embellished eyesores. In the past some sweet lolita have told me I am on an accessory fast, in which I reply that they need to go on an accessory detox plan.

This is not to say that I do not wear rings, necklaces, earrings, or bracelets. I just do not wear 4 rings on each hand or a bracelet to match every color of my outfit. I respect the deco lolita style just like any of the other lolita styles. However I find that an excessive amount of accessories tends to draw attention away from the overall ensemble. I have attempted deco lolita in the past. While it was fun, I prefer simpler coordinations.

Lately I have been drawn to muted and pastel colored outfits and accessories. My most coveted accessories at the moment seem to be pearls and charm jewelery. Below is an adorable heart charm from Molly Brown which I am thinking about getting. She also has some charm jewelery covered in colored enamel. Which I did not know you could do.

Are you noticing that you are on an accessory binge? Want help to cut back? Here are some tips for you.

~ Pick one color from your outfit and accessorize around that color.
I find it interesting when lolitas accessorize around one of the least prominent colors in their outfit. It usually makes the details of the outfit stick out.

~ Wear a charm bracelet.
Then you can wear as many trinkets on your bracelet as you want. You can buy charms almost anywhere. I have noticed tea cups, bears, hearts, and bow charms in kiosk stands in malls. Also plenty of websites sell charms as well. Molly Brown sells jelly bean charms which might look cute with a print like AP's Jelly Jewelery and other sweet prints.

~ Wear general accessories.
I consider trinkets such as bows, tea cups, or crown pendants general accessories. Crosses and pearls also fall into this category. General accessories can go with any outfit, which means you do not need specific jewelry for each outfit. You can also wear general accessories when you are not dressed in lolita. Your jewelry box will thank you.

~ Wear an over the top accessory.
If none of the options above will work for you wear one over the top accessory. If you love to wear sweet prints buy an excessively sweet necklace. Ribbon Holic has great accessories for this option. Elaborate dark jeweled necklaces/chokers would be great for gothic lolita. But try to limit these attention seeking accessories to one per outfit.

~ Be crafty.
Turn beloved accessories into bag or phone charms. If you have more than one ring or pendant you cannot part with carry it in a different way. Pendants are easy to convert. Just add a strap attachment through the necklace loop. Sadly rings require the trinket to be removed from the ring base.

I hope this can help anyone trying to cut back on their accessory accumulation.


image from: addictionsandrecovery.org