Today's post has nothing to do with lolita or himegyaru fashion. It is a rant about the attitude of two normals I had have to recently deal with. You have been fairly warned.
This month I have had the pleasure of being introduced and working with two new coworkers. While I can happily ignore most of my coworker's inappropriate or uninteresting conversations, these two new women are intent on including me in everything. Then when I do not give an answer they like, they always respond with "That's because you're mixed." And usually I go back to ignoring them. However, I must have heard that statement at least fourteen times between Thursday and Friday alone. Then when I finally told them if they did not like my views to just exclude me, they felt offended. Ha!
Just the statement "That's because you're mixed" is offensive. They could have said that I would not understand because I'm from another state, because I did not grow up in a big city, or because I am younger than them. No, it has to be a racial issue. These woman would explode if I were to ask them about the Arthurian Legend and when they could not answer me to say "That's because you're black" or "That's because you're dark skinned." I would be murdered for uttering anything close to that.
I feel if you do not like my opinions after the first couple of times, why would you bother to continue including me in your conversation? I never asked to be included and I never stated that I felt left out. Continue on with whatever it is you are doing and just let me complete my work for the day. They can be in a huff toward me from on, but I do not care.
My taste in music or nonexistent interest in celebrates has nothing to do with my racial background. If anything I think being from a biracial family would give someone a broad or unbiased opinion of most things. I think that my interests are very broad. I would rather read than watch reality television. And I would rather study languages than get drunk. I would rather save or spend my money on a wonderfully cute wardrobe than on weaves and fake nails. There are mixed people that have no interest in the things that I do and there are African American people that would prefer do the things that I do. So race has nothing to do with what does and does not interest someone.
I am so overjoyed that I do not have to work with them this week. Besides the racial divide they have wedged between us I need a break for the word 'swoop'. I dislike when people take one word and say it all the time. "Let me eat before I have to swoop." "That's swoop." "Gonna swoop with my boy tonight." And those are just the tip of the iceberg! I can understand stuff like this from someone in their teens and early 20s, but these two women are in the early 40s! Hopefully they will not continue to work in our laboratory for very long.
I feel better now. Sorry.
image from: Biraciality
They are on numerous blogs, communities, forums, and guides. Go to a meet-up and there is bound to be somone talking about them. Switching between subgenres can be tricky because each subgenres seems to have their own different set. Rules. What you should and should not wear. How you should and should not act. Whom you should and should not associate with. And what activities you can and cannot do. While I find these lists interesting and helpful at times, there are just too many. For a fashion that has no official standardized rule book there is a sea of opinionated naysayers that will gladly tell you what is and what is not lolita.
I believe that if one is new to the fashion it is best to listen and try to follow the basic rules. But do not lose yourself trying to be what others think is the prefect lolita. Let your personality shine. You do not have to look like a walking brand store or stop having fun to be considered a good lolita. Experiment if you want to. Mix styles, be yourself, and create your own niche.
Being in the fashion for a long time has a benefit. I have seen the numerous rule lists and how-to guides. I have read the advice columns and researched the trends for my favorite subgenres. But I follow my own rules. I do not care how others think I should present myself or dress. Granted that my attitude and interests are already suited for lolita and himegyaru fashions. I am just being myself. Not letting the opinion of people I will most likely never meet effect my life.
This month I am daring you and myself to think more for ourselves. Continue to read the guides and lists but truly decide if they are any help to you. Make your own set of rules. Be your own lolita, not someone else's.
image from: myrealestateira.com