"That's cute but..."

A blogging buddy of mine, Black Witch, asked me to participate in a guest post series she is hosting this month called "Black Diamonds and Pearls". The series is about the perspective of being black in lolita and other alternative fashion scenes. My post, "That's cute but...", was published last Friday.

Eyes of the Beholder

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is common phrase most girls have probably heard in their tweens or adolescents. It means that beauty is subjective. Different people find different things beautiful. But what about yourself? It is amazing the amount of people that see little beauty in themselves.

I believe it is fine to have something about yourself you want to work on. But wanting to look like someone else, in my opinion, is not a health habit. Wishing to have a body like someone else is a self-hating tactic. The more you wish to have the weight, bust line, waist, hips, etc. of someone else the more you hate your own body. This can lead to self-abuse both verbally and physically. Sometimes we are the worst bullies to ourselves than anyone else can be. If someone were to verbalize some of the thoughts that women have toward themselves there would be serious consequences. Verbal abuse is not tolerated at my work place. If someone were to call someone a loser fat*ss they would be fired. Stop the abuse.

Everyone has a unique body. I am not perfect, but neither is anyone else. I do not like my weigh so I have made a goal to lose the unwanted weight. However, I would never want to be as thin as an Asian model. While I do find them beautiful, I am happy being me. If I spend my time trying to be like someone else who will be me?

I've spent this month trying products that would help my physical body. This last week of September I will focus not only on helping my appearance but also the thoughts toward myself. Starting with what I love about myself.


I love that I am...
❤ healthy
❤ relatively smart
❤ tall
❤ relatively well proportioned
❤ blessed with nice hair
❤ friendly
❤ a fast learner
❤ someone that will stick by their friends
❤ good with languages
❤ determined to finish goals I set for myself.
❤ willing to try most things at least once
❤ crafty
❤ able to laugh at my faults
❤ cute
❤ a book worm
❤ slowly starting to enjoy exercising
❤ proud to be me

When was the last time you said you loved yourself?


image from: Loss For Words

An act in composure

This post was inspired by bad days and seeing grown women act like children when they do not get their way.

When some people hear the word princess they automatically think of stuck up girls that always have to get their way. At the slightest bit of resistance or inability to get what they want they throw a tantrum or cry. But when I think of a princess I think of someone that when something does not go as planned can act with grace and poise. While I still have a lot to learn to be considered poised, I think I am capable of acting with some composure.

Those that follow my twitter know that the end of this week was hard for me. I found out my bank account had been used to make a fraudulent purchase. Friday I had horrible commute situation that ended in me having to walk 2.3 miles to work. I missed a call from a college I am looking to apply to by 7 minutes. When I called them back, I was told that the next time I could schedule an appointment call was next Thursday.

During those times I vented some frustrations out on twitter. After my venting I continued on with my day. I did not let those issues ruin my day or shut down. Nor did I rage my way through the day. A princess would never take her frustration out on others. She might complain at the moment, she is of course only human, but then she would soldier on with her day. A princess would not brood over events that she cannot control. Dear ladies, I hope you too are trying to be well behaved even on your worst of days.

♫  ~   Que Sera Sera  ~   ♪



image from: Zen Garden.co.za

September challenge

"Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective."
--Unknown

Like the majority of women I had body image issues as a child and teenager. It started with being unsatisfied with my weight and appearance in my tweens. I was always the tallest person in my class, wore glasses, had asthma, and had curly and uncooperative hair. It also did not help that I hated being biracial at the time. All of the girls I thought were pretty looked nothing like me. And I was jealous of half of my cousins with their blond hair and blue eyes or their red hair and green eyes.

All that lead to me giving up on myself and not caring what I looked like. By the time I was 16 I weighed 309lbs. My entire wardrobe consisted of jeans, shorts, oversized T-shirts, running jackets, and a pair of sneakers. I thought fashion and make-up were only for pretty girls. And I was most certainly not one. But then something finally clicked for me and by my 17th year I started losing weight, and trying to be more fashionable. A friend introduced me to a flattening iron and I began to replace my old unflattering clothes. Over the next few years I learned that while I was not one of the prettiest girls in the world I was certainly not ugly.


Sadly I let my weight balloon back up while working at my last horrible job. I was so fixated on how miserable I was with my job that I did not focus on anything else. Happily I have lost most of the regained weight already. Since last year I have lost 45lbs!

So September is the month that I will focus on beauty, inside and out. For those of you who follow my twitter already know that I have been cutting back on soda. And a few of my next goals are to remember to take my vitamins daily and find a good facial cleanser. I hope everyone will have a healthy and beautiful September as well!


image from: StephenPick